Dear Reader,
We have recovered from the festivities over the Christmas and New Year period. This is a time for introspection and consideration of what we may do differently in the future, apparently. Personally, although I do not find my life perfect, I do not feel the need for New Year's resolutions. My only New Year's resolution is to not make any New Year's resolutions; dammit, foiled again.
Anyhoo, unlike me, the Dear Lady Wife needs to make a New Year's resolution for the sake of our family. For the future of our family. Or should I be more concise; to stop me reaching for sharp, blunt, loaded, furry, spiky or otherwise encumbered objects during a certain task that DLW finds a little bit challenging. If she does not do this small thing then I may need to apply for a shotgun license.
So, I hear you ask, what is this terrible crime that DLW commits; what habit does she have that warrants so much venom; what affectation drives me to the brink of murder?
A picture should be painted, let me try to illustrate with some words. DLW is on iTunes and wants the latest thing from Lady YoYo or Katy Sherry and as a consequence would like to purchase said item.
Katy Sherry - Elmo Romance nothing to do with Rustle split. |
Lady Yo Yo - Fillet dress? No Misteak. |
This is not actually a sin, DLW should indulge in whatever she sees fit, just don't PLAY IT TO ME FIVE TIMES IN A ROW AFTER A COUPLE OF GLASSES OF WINE!!! Ooops, that damn CAPS LOCK! The playing is not the issue, no, the acquisition is the issue.
A conversation may be required:
DLW: I quite like this new song from Shady LaLa.
Me: Shady LaLa?
DLW: Yep, she is artistic, a little bit mad and she wears shades.
Me: Oh, that Shady LaLa, I was getting mixed up with someone else.
DLW: How do I do this?
Me: Click buy.
DLW: It's asking me for a password.
Me: That would be the password you provided when you set-up the account.
DLW: What account?
Me: The same account that you used to buy the Katy Sherry thing the other day.
DLW: WHAT ACCOUNT!
Me: You must have used your email address and a password, have you tried these?
DLW: Yes, I have tried all of them, I have tried it with an upper case letter, a lower case letter, with a number on the end, with a number on the start, with a small fluffy animal in the middle. It's all your fault...
Me: (Ducking under wine bottles, expensive china and masonry): How would it be my fault my sweet? I am merely an onlooker in this rapidly expanding bout of rage and larger fonts. Have you tried to reset the password?
DLW: MAKE IT WORK NOW!
Me: I understand how important this request is to you. The use of a large font, CAPS LOCK, and a small fluffy animal have made your requirement for a password crystal clear. However my advice is the same, the only difference being that it is now delivered by a burly security guard who I hide behind the back of.
DLW: I have reset this password a million times. Every time I return to this site I have to reset the password. Why can they not remember the password I set last time?
DLW: MAKE IT WORK NOW!
Me: I understand how important this request is to you. The use of a large font, CAPS LOCK, and a small fluffy animal have made your requirement for a password crystal clear. However my advice is the same, the only difference being that it is now delivered by a burly security guard who I hide behind the back of.
DLW: I have reset this password a million times. Every time I return to this site I have to reset the password. Why can they not remember the password I set last time?
Me: What was the password you set last time?
DLW: I don't know!
Me: Then maybe you need to reset it?
DLW: I shouldn't need to. The password is in a special place.
Me: And where might that place be?
DLW: If I knew that I wouldn't be talking to you. It is in my special book of things, which I have recently lost.
Me: Ah, I see the problem here. However I do not have an immediate solution. Would it be OK if I went to bed and did not have to get involved in the five year search for the book of special things?
DLW: You don't even care about how important the book of special things is. You used a small font. Go choke on your small words. Let us hope that the pillow smothers you in scary dreams that grab you and hold you.
Me: Good night honey
DLW: Fine!
This sort of dialogue happens quite regularly in our humble abode. Thankfully, the pillow hasn't smothered me as yet. So the New Year's resolution for DLW should be to set a password for all things and remember it, or write it down, or have it tattooed backwards on her forehead, whatever works.
In the interim I watch the pillow with suspicion.
Happy New Year dear reader.
xxx
This sort of dialogue happens quite regularly in our humble abode. Thankfully, the pillow hasn't smothered me as yet. So the New Year's resolution for DLW should be to set a password for all things and remember it, or write it down, or have it tattooed backwards on her forehead, whatever works.
In the interim I watch the pillow with suspicion.
Happy New Year dear reader.
xxx
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