Thursday, 14 July 2011

Cat Garden Fight Club

Dear Reader,

So, I recently wrote about London Underground Fight Club which has proved to be the most popular posts on my blog. Today, I am writing about something closer to home, my cats. Specifically Randall, who has grown up a little since my previous post about him and has turned into a small, but perfectly formed adult Scottish Fold. If you don't know the breed enjoy the video below:

Randall is now an adult cat and loves his life. He is largely instructed by one of our elder cats who has taken a bit of shine to him. Most lessons have been taught well and learnt well. However, when it comes to battles over territory his teacher lacks the skills that need to be passed down. Our teachers' reaction to a territorial matter is not that of a typical cat. It is, shall we say, sort of Italian. That is to say, find reverse gear as quickly as possible and move away rapidly from a confrontation. Randall has either chosen not to accept this piece of wisdom or has made up his reaction to territorial invasion on his own.

These are the rules which most cats observe, if a cat violates my territory then the following should occur:
  1. Staring and Freezing: Both parties, once aware of each others presence should hold stance at a significant distance and stare.
  2. Having locked horns/eyes the stare should be held whilst the territorial owner should by small increments get closer to the other cat.
  3. As the distance is slowly closed the invading cat should yowl, showing the other cat that it is not going to back down. This may take some time.
  4. After some time the invading cat will normally start a very slow backing down process, which involves reversing very slowly to the nearest exit, whilst never taking eyes off the territory owner. Eventually the process ends at this point if it has not already been interrupted by an irritated neighbour or by me in my dressing gown.
Randall's approach is a little more straightforward and can be described thus:
  1. Staring and Freezing: Both parties, once aware of each others presence should hold stance at a significant distance and stare.
  2. Randall becomes bored and runs full pelt at the initially surprised invader. Unsure what to do, unsettled by this clear violation of the rules of engagement, instinct kicks and he (or she) runs too. No doubt pondering what the hell had just happened.   
Oh, and he doesn't know the golden rule of cat garden fight club, as in, he always talks about it.

Oops, it has just been pointed out to me that this my third cat related post in recent weeks. Apologies dear reader I can't help myself. Time for something more fluffy, light-hearted and cute, like Rupert Murdoch and  the imminent demise of News International.

Coming soon dear reader xxx 


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