Tuesday, 10 April 2012


Dear Reader,

I am becoming a little flaky now. This A-Z challenge has been going on for days. I have been posting every day at breakneck pace. I work for a living, but was hoping to get ahead of the game during the Easter break. Regrettably this is my first attempt at that lofty goal. I am hoping to finish this today and do my first (and probably last) scheduled post. Today is Monday, so this should fill Tuesday.

Meanwhile the Dear Lady Wife is starting to get annoyed too. I seem to be spending my entire life in front of the computer. This in itself is not a departure. The fact that I have a sanctioned, supported reason is, however. She may start her own protest blog. Not unlike ladies who proclaim themselves to be World Cup widows during the four yearly football extravaganza, I fear DLW may be getting A-Z Challenge widow t-shirts printed as we speak. Oh, that's just great, two paragraphs in and not a word about the subject for today. Deep breath...

I is for Internet. But what is it? Is it a public service or a public menace. Hmmm. This is deep, for deep thinkers to think deeply about for days whilst locked in a hotel in Deep Deep, Indiana. Yep, this is deep. Or is it?

My favorite definition of the internet comes from a TV comedy program called the IT Crowd. This is one of the funniest comedy shows ever written, certainly the funniest about IT.

So that definition, if you couldn't be bothered to watch the video... This black box with a small flashing light on the top is the internet. Nope, sorry, can't do it justice, watch the goddamned video. From the same episode is an important health warning regarding the use of Google...

Don't do it kids.

Assuming the IT Crowd may have got it slightly wrong, what is the Internet? Can we touch it? Well, yes, in a sort of very fragmented way. Can it touch us? Yes, absolutely, in a million unexpected ways. Look at me, before computers I spent a short time being a journalist at a magazine which reached less than 20,000 people. Reach is the most important word in that sentence. Back at that magazine the most I could reach was 20,000, based on a huge assumption. That assumption was that everybody read it, and as a consequence, read me. 

Now I can publish to my blog, this blog, whenever I want. There are no looming deadlines, apart from this month, of course, when there is one almost everyday. As for reach, well my potential reach has grown just a tiny amount. Back in the day my potential reach was 20,000, the circulation of the magazine. Now my potential reach is every computer, tablet, internet-enabled game console, smart phone and not-so smart phone in the world. Well that's increased my reach a lot, my reach is now [licks finger and then plucks figure from the air] 1,000,000,000. Such is the wonder of technology.

Technology, of course, brings it's own woes. Back at that magazine I could kid myself that every copy of that magazine had been read from cover-to-cover. I just hadn't met any of the people in the catchment area who had read my piece. Now there are stats. My reach may have been estimated, but my stats are depressingly accurate. I know in depressing and mind-numbingly dull detail how many people I haven't reached. I even know how long the people I have reached have been reached for. There is, I must confess a small gap between reached and reachable which I must close. No matter how mind-numbingly dull those stats are by the way, I check them every day.

Back to the Internet, which has set new standards for reaching out to people. Whether what they were reaching out for was my blog is largely irrelevant. The internet being what it is, there is something for just about anybody, also there is a whole bunch more stuff which shouldn't be for anybody. It is like the whole world, but closer. Remember though, not to shake it or drop it.

Well, I've just made the Internet a little tiny bit heavier, so I shall sign-off until tomorrow when I shall be japing with the letter J



  1. I wanted to say a bunch of things about your post, including how cool the internet widow t-shirt is, but then I saw the video AND OMIGAWD THAT'S THE SEXY COP FROM BRIDESMAIDS! I LOVE THAT GUY!
    Wow! Bonus points for your blog for posting THAT GUY. Tell your wife you're performing an important public service!!!!

    1. I completely forgot about bridesmaids...

      I tell her that every day, I am ot sure she believes me though.

  2. Just so you know, I am one of your many quiet readers. I may not respond often; but perhaps it would give you a small lift from your so called, "depressing numbers" to read something from us out here. I do read your posts. The fact that I can count on them along with my morning coffee presents a small comfort to my every day. If you miss a day, well I understand. We don't know one another, but I realize you are only human with a life not so dissimilar from mine. Surely, I can allow you that. Once.
    -Yours for statistical purposes,
    A Dear Reader
    PS) Thumbs up to the wife for putting up with you.

    1. I miss plenty of days as I am definitely only human. I will pass on your message of support to the Dear Lady Wife.

  3. I love the internet. Bridemaids was a great movie. Not what I expected in a good way. Nice meeting you.